your mom had major concerns that her dress, with it’s Neo-Mughal influences would clash along side her Modern Geometric Abstract wedges, however she was able to tie the pieces together through the ingenious use of the color “Mediterranean Crystal Tear” used on the shoe, harness and lid and nails.

your mom’s stylish new haircut wasn’t garnering the intention of her desired class of men so she’s made a few alterations to her wardrobe to enhance her opportunities of attracting an appropriate suitor.

your mom purchased her catsuit online. we know things can go wrong when you buy things before you try them on.

your mom and sister show the 2011 and 2013 ways to dress as naked as possible. on the left, your mom shows yesteryear’s dominating trend of fishnet. on the right, your sister shows 2013’s ubiquitous sheer.

your mom wanted you to remember that when you take a picture holding a glass of champagne glass, no matter how you hold that glass, it will always be 64% classier.

your mom is pushing the boundaries of publicly acceptable partially sheer bodysuits to it’s very limits.

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your mom recently had a few strips of lace installed into her favorite dresses so she could vent off the heat from that flaming box of fire she carries around.

your mom heard about the old barbershop saying that “crazy girls have the best stuff.” she thought long and hard about how to let potential suitors know that she was carrying around some certifiable fire in her pants. the idea hit her like a bolt of lightning…

“Michael Jackson Moonwalking Along Your Bikini Line Tattoos”