your mom and sister show the 2011 and 2013 ways to dress as naked as possible. on the left, your mom shows yesteryear’s dominating trend of fishnet. on the right, your sister shows 2013’s ubiquitous sheer.

your moms have started a new trend of keeping all the sexy in the front. if they are going to get ogled in the club for wearing revealing outfits, men are going to have to stand in front of them and look them eye to thigh to do so.

View high resolution

your mom was visited by an eerie rabbit named frank mere hours before a jet engine destroyed her bedroom. charged w/the task of living life to it’s fullest for the next 28 days, she planned a big costume party while you were away at a dance competition. here is the outfit she wore with only 6 hours, 42 minutes, and 12 seconds left before the end of the world.

View high resolution

your mom was once a woman that would carry her rollup flats in a clutch for after the party, when her feet were in pain from a night of dirty dancing. until, one day, she realized, if she just got a pair of slip-ons and made sure to keep it sexy by matching them to the rest of her accessories, her feet would never hurt in the first place.

voila!

View high resolution

your mom was on our site yesterday, but heard we were talking about catching big fish so she sent over this pic. i need to find out who gave her my email address.

your mom thought to her self, “Bernice, what are you going to wear to a white party on a boat?

Fishnet, of course!”

---

this brings white party week to a close.
i really hate white parties.

seriously.