your mom thought adding a few chains to an old bra pink polka dot bra was the best way to coordinate with her leopard print tights and red knee high pleather boots.

wait, what?

pink polka dot bra. leopard print tights. red knee high pleather boots.
swag.

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your mom, faced with the choice between going with the all-black, slightly-moist, freshly-clubbed-seal-swag and the day-glo, semi-sparkly, chernobyl-cheetah-gorgonzola-garanimal fit decided “why choose?”

your mom thought 6 packs of Yaki would help balance her out but the added weight to the top of her head meant she needed a lil’ help draggin’ that wagon.

your mom didn’t want to be left out in the cold and picked up this lace infused catsuit which makes it easier to answer the age old question:

“is she wearing panties?”

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your mom always told you and your sister that a bold, exciting print is the best way to transition from winter to spring but thought it best if she stepped out with you to show it’s best done.

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your mom has become a guest instructor at the local Living Well Lady and is constantly asked how she is able to keep her slim and trim physique. she believes that actions speak louder than words and is willing to put on a demonstration of her crunch techniques at the drop of a dime.

your mom loves how a snazzy pair of heels can convert her business casual into sexy clubbing clothes.

UPDATE: your mom has lawyers, so, we removed her photo.

Your dad has finally come out as his true self. He’s transformed Leonard into L’eotarda with his new boob job, lady-like tattooed eyebrows, and blue leopard print spandex swag. He’s even gotten himself fake engagement ring from MsTaken, to give his man hands a more feminine appeal.

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Submitted & written by gogoincognito.