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your mom took the blazer trend, added it to the throwback neon trapper keeper craze, coupled it w/the beyonce bodysuit bare ring finger fosse fiasco, highlighted w/some minaj pink lemonade lacefrontage and topped it off w/assorted bits of plastic bangles and batman onomatopoeia buckled fuckery.
this is a cacophony of ratchet.
your mom is most thankful for yellow no. 5 lacefronts & sheer clothing this holiday season.
also: your mom’s been here before.
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your mom thought an all black catsuit might be too much for a hot summer night so she made a few adjustments that could help her deal with the increase in temperature.
We’d like to welcome you all to our 200th post Schoolgirl Extravaganza. We know you don’t come for the words, so, here come the pics…
your mom shows how it’s always important to dress for success. sometimes, success includes cutting a hole in your stockings so your nail poish shows through your peeptoes.
your mom was voted most athletic and best ghost face in her high school yearbook.
your mom and her girlfriend Davé used to be captains of the cheer leading and dance teams. now, of course, they’re “dancers.”
your mom always kept an apple for the teacher, cuz she knew she’d get a kiss and always got mad when the class was dismissed.
your mom looks like the type of girl that never did a very good job of obeying the dress code and spent most of her time in the bathroom smoking cigarettes.
your mom didn’t know it was a schoolgirl party, she wears pleated plaids and carries a scooby doo lunchbox everyday.
your mom was voted Class Clown.
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your mom and her bestie Antiqué picked up matching lacefronts at the buy one get one 50% off sale. sadly, eyebrow dye was still selling at full price.
