your mom had one last present to unwrap after last night’s “Naughty or Nice” party.
your mom took 3rd place in a “Pre-Labor day Bikini contest” and won a years supply of wet wipes.
your mom came out to support her bestie’s fashion party but couldn’t wear one of her “Sheer Appear” designs.
your mom and grandmom came out to show you the positive effects that healthy eating, clean living and daily twerking will have on your body.
your mom (c, glowing) has tried to school both your cousin Sharmique (r, smiling) and you (l, salty) that the best way to avoid an envious existence is be happy with what you have. notice how Sharmique has learned from her teachings while you glare angrily because you didn’t get the duotone eyelids.
shame on you.