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your mom’s “draped-salmon-caped, edgy-front-wedgie, loose-necktie-noose” swag is perfectly complimented by a spiked warrior cuff & heart earring.

your mom is a bit of a chameleon.

your mom got that “just licked a light socket & got a pocket rocket still plugged in” swag.

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your mom’s “Florence of Arabia, Pleather Hot Pants, Velvet Side Tie Knee Boot, Silky Sideburn S.H.A.Z.A.M.” Swag won first place at the Red Lip, Eyes Fully Dipped party.

your mom’s “sheer side panel, Marcus I’m not wearing any panties” swag set many a yule log ablaze at the holiday xmas party.

your mom calls this look her “super future borneo bonzai” swag.

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your mom is killin’ them in her “hunt for red coctober” swag.

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your mom celebrated Madonna’s bday by hitting the club in her “Material Girl Swag.” a full decade before the virgin rolled around w/her corset on blast, your mom was setting trends w/her underwear as outerwear.